The Ghosted Generation
When Em graduated from the Pratt Institute in May 2020, two months into the pandemic, there were simply no jobs for a sculpture major, even in New York. “That absolutely set the tone for the rest of my attempt at a career,” Em, now 26, says. So they took an intensive nine-month coding boot camp and started applying for tech jobs. After being rejected from about 10 roles, the entire tech industry was besieged by mass layoffs in 2022, leaving Em even more dispirited. “It was just another pathway to shit,” they recall thinking. Eventually, they found work as an office manager at a nonprofit for a while and quickly lost their coding skills. Last year, Em applied to more than 400 jobs across the communications, administrative, and service industries — and was rejected by every one. “I am miserable, and it is breaking my body down,” Em tells me over the phone from California, where they’ve been living at a relative’s house scraping by on $700 a month from contract work. They add, flatly, “I am not living a life that I feel is worth living at this moment.”
The Unforgiving Landscape
Em’s experience is not an outlier; it reflects a widespread despair felt by many in Generation Z. This generation is marked by the unique challenges of their time—COVID-19, climate anxiety, and an era defined by digital connection yet profound loneliness. Labeled as the most anxious, most burned-out, and loneliest generation, it’s clear that **rejection** has also become a defining characteristic of their experience. The World Happiness Report came out last year with a startling conclusion: Zoomers are the unhappiest generation. But beneath that unfortunate title lies another important truth—they might also be the most rejected generation in history.
A Complex Relationship with Rejection
Every cohort believes it has drawn the short straw, but for Gen Z, the collision of technology and emotional health creates a complex labyrinth of opportunities and pitfalls. Gen Z has more access to potential jobs, romantic interests, and educational opportunities than any generation before them. Yet, despite this access, the **frequency of rejection** in these key areas is unprecedented. The impact of such constant denial can deeply affect one’s self-esteem and worldview.
The Dating Scene Dilemma
When it comes to dating, the paradox is striking. With apps facilitating myriad connections, Gen Z finds themselves submerged in a sea of fleeting encounters. **Ghosting**, **breadcrumbing**, and “situationships” are terms that articulate the emotional turbulence of modern romance. According to Hinge, 90% of Gen Z users express a desire for love but 44% have little to no dating experience. This disconnection stems from a heightened aversion to risk, fuelled by a background of social anxiety and overparenting.
A Vicious Cycle
While Gen Z instinctively shies away from genuine emotional vulnerability, there is also a troubling dynamic at play. As they engage in online interactions, the fear of rejection often prevents them from pursuing real-life connections. One individual shared that a friend went to a restaurant for a date only to discover that her match had unmatched and blocked her before they even met. This climate of mutual risk aversion yields a cycle of isolation that perpetuates the very rejection they seek to avoid.
Education: The Gauntlet of Rejection
Outside of dating, **higher education** presents another relentless gauntlet. In the past, college hopefuls applied to just one school. By 2023-24, it became common for applicants to apply to around 6-10 schools, with numbers soaring for elite institutions. For instance, an NYU student recounted the shock of receiving only a few acceptances after applying to twenty schools.
Overwhelming Expectations
Ella, a young woman from Pennsylvania, admitted to being naïvely confident in her university applications. She was jolted into reality by being rejected from ten institutions, feeling that her hard work was insufficient to meet arbitrary expectations. Increasing applications paired with declining acceptance rates contributes to sentiments of inadequacy across the cohort, revealing a growing chasm between aspirations and achievements.
Impacts on Mental Health
The ramifications of mass rejection are significant. Psychologists like Barry Schwartz have noted that there exists a distinctive relationship between choice and satisfaction. Gen Z faces an overwhelming number of options in dating and careers yet remains burdened by the reality of rejection, leaving many defaulting into self-protective cynicism. This not only influences individual behavior but also shapes collective views on ambition and success.
The Job Market’s Harsh Realities
In the workforce, job searches can feel even more demoralizing. Data indicates that a single job posting now garners hundreds of applications, with many applicants facing repeated ghosting from employers. For instance, a graduate named Catherine reported sending out 300 applications, with the process often feeling more like throwing darts at a board than a well-cut plan.
Looking Beyond Rejection
However, amidst the disillusionment, some members of Gen Z are channeling their experiences into pursuit of passion projects and entrepreneurship, reshaping their definitions of success. Innovators are emerging within the influencer economy, marking a fundamental shift where personal fulfillment can outweigh institutional validation.
Collective Acceptance and Resilience
As Gen Z transitions into adulthood, learning to navigate rejection will likely play a critical role in their development. The context they are growing into is one where failures and disappointments are framed as numbers, a numbers game that dictates their future paths.
Technology’s Role in Rejection
Ultimately, while Gen Z’s experiences of rejection may seem like personal failures, they resonate deeply with technological factors. The algorithms that dominate modern education, dating, and employment processes are not just cold mechanisms—they actively shape outcomes for individuals. An emerging sentiment among Gen Z points toward a resignation to the systems that filter their opportunities.
In conversations with Gen Z, the notion of blaming technology rarely arises. Instead, there lies a shared understanding that the issues stem back to human biases inherent within these digital systems. As they learn to parse through rejections, there is hope that Gen Z may transform these painful experiences into actionable change.
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